You know what? Our move to the south was a huge failure. And so have many of the other things we have tried. But you know what else? We TRIED!
My hubby and I could have stayed at jobs that we hated, but instead we took a huge plunge. We went for it. And we are not done yet. Some of the things we have tried have been huge complete failures. They didn't work at all. And I cried and worried and maybe even freaked out a TON. (And the crying and worrying and freaking out got me no where... but that is a whole other story!)
So I have decided that this is okay. Failure is okay. In fact, failure is awesome.
Here is what I think:
Failure shows that we tried. No one can say that we have not tried. And I would rather have tried something than wondered what would have been. I would rather fail than be stuck in a life that means nothing doing nothing about it. And we can just keep trying and trying and trying.
Failure has helped us learn and grow. We now know even more clearly what we do and don't want in life. We know what is important to us. It has helped our children to see that not everything works out and you don't always get what you think you wanted. And more importantly that life does go on.
We are instilling perseverance in ourselves and our children. We will not give up. We will just keep trying. And you know what, we will probably fail some more. We will keep failing until we find success. And that is good. I would rather fail a million times that give up and never try.
Failure has changed me for the better. I am not the same person I was a few years ago. I happen to think I am better now in many ways. I am willing to put my self out there. I am willing to be wrong. I am willing to try. Failure has helped me to appreciate small successes. In fact, failing has helped shape my view on what really matters. It has also helped me to be more understanding of others. Not everyone that fails is a loser. There have been so many times someone has told us that we should just do this or just do that. They wanted us to settle. And right now, we probably look like losers to many people outside of the situation, but we are on our path, working towards success. And at some point, we will figure it all out. And we won't have regrets. This whole process has lead me to look at others differently as well. It has reminded me that I have no right to judge and I should have empathy for those going through failure as they are also searching for success. And success for others might not look the same as success for me.
Failure has forced us to change the way we live. In failing, we have been able to simplify our lives. A lot of the wants have fallen away as we have discovered that they are not necessary in life and not necessary for our success. And we have been creative. We are finding creative ways to make a living, creative ways to do things that we once thought were out of reach. We are getting more creative in reaching our goals. And we are way more flexible. One of our first major failures came from my husband's desire to have things for his business exactly how he wanted them. Although I shared my view that these were wrong choices, I went ahead with him and let him try them out. They didn't work. And that is okay. He had to learn and now he is way more flexible with some aspects of building his business and he listens to me more as well. I feel like I can also voice my opinions more openly now and that he will take me seriously and listen. This was a huge step in our marriage. Failure helped us to grow and be a better union than we have ever been. In fact, I feel closer to my husband now that ever before in our marriage.
Yes, failing is scary! Failing hurts. Failing has been stressful and a few times I really did want to give up. But you have to keep on going.
Here are some of my favorite thoughts from other people on failure:
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” - Thomas A. Edison
“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” - Robert F. Kennedy
“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” - Henry Ford
“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want” - Richard Yates
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” - Denis Waitley
“Winners are not afraid of losing. But losers are. Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success.” - Robert T. Kiyosaki
“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” - Napoleon Hill
“No human ever became interesting by not failing. The more you fail and recover and improve, the better you are as a person. Ever meet someone who’s always had everything work out for them with zero struggle? They usually have the depth of a puddle. Or they don’t exist.” - Chris Hardwick
“When we give ourselves permission to fail, we, at the same time, give ourselves permission to excel.” - Eloise Ristad
Sorry for rambling on. Not sure if any of this will make sense, but I needed to get it out and try to put my thoughts to word.... Now back to living this crazy wonderful life. :)